Trial Series 002: DayXDaze #1 — Rooted Days and Autumn Daze

“They aren’t strong on their own,” the tree explained. “They’re as fragile as my limbs. But I bury them in the soul and intertwine them with roots from other trees. When a storm comes we lean on each other. And the rich soil holds us all together.” 

— Granger Smith, Up Toward A Light

Disclaimer: Although this was written nearly a year ago, I bring this back into the present to see for myself where I hit a major turning point in my life and reflect on where I’ve been since then. Fall 2024 Gale came off of a challenging summer and was just grateful for the small victories and moments of gratitude during this time.

The very first edition of the DayXDaze series is a celebration of the rooted days and autumn daze (so far), their unexpected richness in good community and harvest weather as well as their light, amidst the turbulence in Gaza, of the election, and of the extreme typhoons that continue to devastate the Philippines. My goal is to post the going-ons whenever the rhythms of life are shifting — likely every two weeks, maybe once a month. Bringing out my inner archivist/diarist, this series aims to capture the open-hearted wisdom and open-ended serendipities of daily life, borne out of love and the creativity that goes into resilience. 

After all, like the trees that withstand catastrophe, we are not strong on our own. Every injustice and moments of anger and grief do well to remind us of that every day.

Now that the days ahead are getting colder, darker, and barer, I want to re-root my intention, my energy, my knowledge into the depths of my soul, intertwine them with other root systems, and live out the gratitude in still being able to care for others and lean on each other. Even when the wind threatens to blow us all away.

Since this post will cover two months’ worth of rooted-dazed days, I’ll keep it broad and sweeping. 

Alto Harmonies and Democracy Concerts

I’ve had my share of high school and collegiate choral singing, competitive and otherwise. I expected to move on from it at the end of each phase, repeating the “Okay THIS time, I’m actually done with choir” self-talk for good measure. Still, here I am: A newly minted Soprano-turned-Alto 1 in an avocational, semi-professional community choir who has performed in three concerts in the span of five weeks, two in major venues, and am now gearing up for the holiday concert two weeks from now. 

The stakes of performing well feel higher, the audiences much vaster, and yet there is no dread in the pursuit of ‘the perfect performance’. Only a desire to learn, to improve, to dive into the stories of the pieces and sing them with integrity. 

As I practiced these pieces and learned about the stories within them, it was interesting figuring out how to position myself as a performer and co-storyteller in navigating the many, many layers of how the pieces came to be  – from the harrowing saga of Matthew Sheppard’s life both as a son and as a part of a larger movement for hate crime legislation to multifaceted series of movements that tell the stories of people who long and fight for freedom within a democracy riddled with so many contradictions. Looking ahead into the season, I feel a much greater responsibility to be more intentional about how to approach each piece with care. From the learning process to the performance itself, we “storytell” to not only move others, but to also be moved and transformed through the music.

Worship Nights and Solemn Devotionals

This past year, I’ve been rebuilding my relationship with God and reconnecting with my Christian faith for the first time since I left for college. I recently started attending church in the neighborhood regularly, mostly made up of college students and young families. I’ve gone every Sunday since September (a record!), and despite my anxiety of being in highly social situations, I’ve been surprisingly at ease meeting other Christians, both my age and older, and getting to know their life stories and how they’ve come to build their relationship with God. 

Having attended Catholic churches growing up, I didn’t particularly get involved with the communal aspect of attending church, especially not like the one I’m in now. From praying for and encouraging each other in weekly small groups and lunches to having a structure to read timely Bible passages, ponder, and reflect on what they mean during worship nights and conferences, I never imagined that I would see so much of what I took for granted in a new light.

After talking with an elder of the church, I’m even working in times of the day in November when I revisit passages of the Bible and journal about its meanings, my own connections and epiphanies. As valid as the criticisms towards Christians are (still wrestling through Christianity’s role in the colonization of the Philippines), I’m at a place in my spiritual growth where I am open to read and hear God’s word for myself and seek some guidance on how we should live a fulfilling life with one another in a world whose future becomes more uncertain.

Joys and Delights In A Daze

• Attended my first of many weddings to come — it was the first time I thought about how miraculous it is to love someone so deeply that it spans lifetimes in a time where the future feels uncertain. To love someone is one of the bravest things one can do, only second to becoming a mother.
• Cooked many variations of omurice in an attempt to recreate the perfect tornado-shaped omelet that I saw on Instagram Reels. Didn’t succeed in that, BUT the curry and prosciutto versions were delicious and filling to the stomach and soul
• Started writing more short form diary entries for each day in my bullet journal of my days – teeming with quirky details and spontaneous happenings
• Had a lovely, spontaneous conversation with a biochemist who recently moved from Italy about cultural differences, education, shared anxieties of speaking English as a second language, and our tastes in literature. 
• I had a student reach out to me out of the blue asking if we went over MLA citations when I had him last year as he was working on his first mid-term paper. He asked for a copy of his senior capstone essay to show to his professor and then proceeded to earn high marks on his first paper. Go student!
• Took a hiatus from playing Pokemon Brilliant Diamond (got on the nostalgia bandwagon very late) until I found a trading partner to evolve my Kadabra into an Alakazam! Yay! She is a Special Attack ultra-monster and has been upping her OTK rate (though her defense is still not great)
• My therapist invited me to attend a mental health listening circle for Filipino Americans and got invited by a new Kuya to come to the Philly-pino Oral History Exhibition at the Free Library of Philadelphia on a workday night. Even though I was left exhausted from work that day, I was rejuvenated by folk dances, chats with Filipino community tabling groups, and our elders’ migration stories.
• Wrote my first ever ARC book review for BookSirens! I’ll likely be writing a more extended version of said review, but as far as completing my first ARC review, I’m really proud of how it turned out!
• Had an unexpected budget Friendsgiving dinner with new friends from church. I brought over a raspberry and chocolate roll cake from Paris Baguette.
• Got some new seasonally themed washi tapes from The Washi Tape Shop for my art journaling — and they look gorgeous! Can’t wait to create some spreads with these tapes.
• I ran my first statistical tests and created some beautiful projections and graphs if I may say so myself. I low-key am on the verge of discovering data visualization as an art form and am looking forward to becoming a massive geek about it

Miracles in Gatherings, in Retrospect

If there’s anything that I’ve grown to really appreciate in the fullest lately, it is the miracle of coming together, of choosing to love and care for one another even when our flaws are unravelling in the wake of a life-altering world. It is one thing to hear this from secondhand stories, tacky motivational posters, or bubblegum pop on the radio; it is another to witness and participate in these moments firsthand. 

Whether I’m getting pulled into Cha Cha Sliding with coworkers under a clear night sky or convincing my student mentees that they don’t have to drop out on the chance that Trump might take FAFSA away (he’s not) or belting out Defying Gravity in a karaoke bar/a movie theater/parking lot with strangers or checking in on the highs and lows of our weeks over lunches and boba trips with friends (old and new), I continue to be awed, humbled, and honestly honored over and over again in these moments. I’m reminded how much of a gift it truly is to encourage and to be encouraged by people across all walks of life. The way forward is paved in the ‘little by little’ efforts, across multiple coalitions of people who want better and want to do better, across multiple perspectives and angles — unintentionally and beautifully coordinated. Kamala Harris perhaps said it best in her ending speech, “You have the capacity to do extraordinary good in the world… This is not a time to throw up our hands. This is a time to roll up our sleeves. This is a time to organize, to mobilize, and to stay engaged for the sake of freedom and justice and the future that we all know we can build together.” 

And that truth alone keeps all the days rooted.

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still lingering…

• Lessons from the parenting world about what success really means in an uncertain world (Elisa Strauss’ The Branch of Philosophy All Parents Should Know (The Atlantic)
• Picking apart what I really mean when I say “I can’t…” vs “I shouldn’t” (Obsidian Iceberg’s On what it means to not have time)
• How friendships truly end: they dissipate and grow apart (Amanda Yen’s The Knife of Letting Go)
• Wisdom from reflections of young adulthood and growing past your 20s (Sundaze Book Cafe’s Me at 33)
• Reflections on how I would want to change the world as a “Switchboarder”, based on what I know I love doing and how I see myself growing (Adam Mastrionni’s Underrated Ways to Change the World)